Debt free? Me? Not quite....

I did get a decent return this year and was able to cut my credit cards in half, finally! My split with Mike left me with 2 maxed out cards and the doctor and hospital bills from having Zander. I've been keeping up with the minimum payments on the cards, but haven't been able to pay much to the hospital and doctor bills. So yay, got the credit cards down by half and the doctor/hospital bill down to about 25% left. Go me! And I saved a little on the side to pay for the filing fees for the divorce and to get a cheap new computer since mine is slowly dying and things aren't working on it. I can't wait until I'm not in debt. I don't even remember how that feels, to actually SAVE money. I'm so close and can actually see sunlight in my debt hole. I'm so super excited to see an end date! Of course this isn't counting the loan for my house, that I don't see any bit of light for =P I'm so happy and so very proud of myself. Go ME!!!!

Things that make you go hmmm...

People that see a woman with a stroller in the rain and not stopping to let her cross at the crosswalk but I had no problems when I was pregnant, rain or no rain.

Parents believing the negative things their 2 year old is telling them (Mary hit me, which didn't happen) and not actually listening to what they really need or want (shaking head no when offered to eat, then forcing them to sit and eat) My job is fun =P

Running into someone you briefly knew a year later, and he still remembers your son's name and yours. (Though Zander is pretty different, as is mine, and that could be why)

Drivers slamming on their brakes when they see a cop.

And my favorite: If he cheated on me with you, why would you think he'd be faithful to you?

Alrighty, I'm a tired momma...

Wow, sleep...did I? I'm not even sure. Zander was up several times last night. Not sure the first few times around 10:30pm (when I finally got INTO bed). Then a cough woke him up, and I could tell he was stuffy around midnight. I was so tired I brought him to my bed for a bit. He finally fell asleep and I put him back into his bed around 1am. He woke back up coughing/stuffy nose at 2am. I brought him back and he just kept talking, sitting up, crawling around, kicking his legs. He was WIRED. I could only laugh. But he was itchy also, scratching his hands pretty badly. So I creamed him up and told him, sorry dude, but I need to sleep for a little bit, you'll just have to talk and move around in your bed. I'm not sure I ever really fell asleep after that. I kept hearing him talking. It was kind of funny. Then when my alarm went off at 4:30am I heard him talking again..lol. So I'm not sure he went back to sleep either. Wow, I am pretty tired. Thinking about hitting the bed shortly after Zander tonight and hoping for a more restful night. Suprisingly he was in a delightful mood all day and only took an hour nap. I'm shocked, usually he's a little grumpy with not enough sleep =P

Soon to be Ex

Yay! I finally have the money to file for a divorce. Never knew how expensive it was, geez. So now I will have the joy of filling out the paper work, setting up mediation, and figuring out how to serve him with the papers. I did find out some rather interesting things about him this past week, and as much as I thought I was "over" him, for some annoying reason I still care a little bit about him. Go figure. He has some kind of growth and has been in the hospital multiple times the past few months. It could be cancer, which is scary. I feel bad that he and the kids have to go through this, but at the same time, all I can think is; You've done this to yourself. Which isn't really true, I don't think you can give yourself cancer, but he's never been totally honest with any of his doctors among other things. I did find out something today that makes me laugh every time I think about it. He got a fairly large tattoo of the girls name. Wow, really man? Guess she thinks that's her security that he won't leave her? LOL, I can't believe he did that, simply because he always told me he would never get the name of a girl tattooed for fear if something happened and it ended it would always be there. LMAO, seriously, LMAO. And to this day he has not tried to see his son since he left, over 1 and 1/2 years ago. He's missing so much, but at least my son's life is peaceful and there is no going back and forth right now. I really have no idea if he'll ever want a relationship with my son, and I will feel bad the day my son has to be torn between two homes. Divorce sucks when there are children involved.

Something to remember...

“You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”

18 Months and growing

Zander had his 18 month check up today. Geez, is he really 18 months already?! I don't like how quickly time is passing by. I feel like I've done horrible at actually writting down all his monumentous accomplishments in life thus far. Just little blurbs on a calendar, but I guess that's better than nothing and gives me something to look back to and actually write down nicely for him someday.

He is doing prefect and finally reached the 5oth percentile for height at 31.5 inches!!! Go Zander! Although his legs are still a little too short for 18 month pants, but he's getting there. And he's a whopping 24 pounds 5 ounces! And his hair just gets curlier by the day.

Gotta love my baby boy!

Letting Go

I got this in an e-mail today and would like to share it:

By T. D. Jakes

There are people who can walk away from you.

And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.

Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.. You've got to know when it's dead.

You've got to know when it's over.. Let me tell you something.. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye.. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.

Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to.......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains .......

LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth......

LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you.

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge.....

LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction... ..

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents

LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude.... ....

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......

LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him.........

LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship. ....

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves.. ....

LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed .............

LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying 'take your hands off of it,' then you need to.......

LET IT GO!!!

'The Battle is the Lord's!'

During the next 60 seconds, Stop whatever you are doing, and take this opportunity...

(Literally it is only ONE minute!)

All you have to do is the following:

You simply say 'The Lords Prayer' for the person that sent you this message:

The Lords Prayer

Our Father, who are in Heaven, Hallowed be Thy Name, Thy Kingdom Come, Thy Will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day, our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.

For Thine is the Kingdom, and the Power, and the Glory, forever.

Amen.

Yeah, OK

I think what my problem is, is that I just don't know how to start. Or really, where to start, on one of these. Then once I start, how do I keep it going. I have so much to say, about anything really. I can be a very opinonated gal, but does it really matter? Do people just blog over little bits of their lives? Over the exciting parts? Pondering moments? All of the above maybe. Well, I'm not sure anyone would be interested in reading about my life, but maybe it would be fun to put it into something to look back at anyways. I need to be more disciplined about writing little things down everyday, think of how fun it will be to reread in one, five, 10 years from now! Nothing exciting goes on, but Zander's little precious moments would be forever kept. I should have started doing this a long, long time ago...